CANNES BAN DANCE

Lars von Trier has learned the hard way that there's a difference between press conferences at Cannes and a thread on 4chan. At least he didn't break Rules 1 & 2 . . .

The fact that ol' Lars was clearly kidding around doesn't make anything better. I personally don't think there's any subject about which jokes are forbidden but certain subjects have a very high difficulty curve. And Lars von Trier isn't fucking funny. Poor Kirsten Dunst.

Anyway, let that be a lesson. If you're going to compare yourself to a dictator who destroyed millions of lives, stick with Harvey Weinstein. (Ayyyyyyyoooooo!!! Sorry, Harv, that was a joke.)

A WORD FROM THE DANISH CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

Courtesy of my good friend Eric Winick comes this masterpiece. In honor of International Kick Lars Von Trier In The Balls Day (celebrated 365 times annually), I share it with you. Remember to commemorate this holiest of holidays by kicking Lars von Trier in the balls. Do it for the children.